Wednesday, October 28, 2009
It's the little things...
You know you married your soul mate when he shoves a grape up his nose in the middle of a restaurant just to make you laugh.
Monday, October 12, 2009
SNOOZE DANG IT!
I have hit a very weird, chaotic time in my life. I feel it coming like a tidal wave while I am standing with the water slowly inching up above my ankles to my knees. You can't describe the feeling unless you have been here before. I used to laugh (on the inside) at women who spoke of this, thinking "I won't have that problem." or "No way. I have my job, and a good life so I'm set. That is all I need."
I can't really tell you when it happened, but it just...happened. I woke up one morning and hit the snooze button on my alarm clock; only, I could still hear it. That annoying, computerized, nails-on-a-chalkboard, high pitched ringing. But this was different...it's not that I could just hear it, but I could feel it. I realized quickly that this wasn't my same alarm. "What the...?"
Holy crap. I thought maybe I had dodged it like a super stealthy dodgeball player- Vince Vaughn eat your heart out. Who am I kidding?! I always sucked at dodgeball!! I should have known! Maybe I was complacent in hitting the snooze button for so long that I missed it this time? Maybe my snooze button is on the fritz and it'll reset on its own? Maybe not. Never the less, here it is. My biological clock....yelling at me for ignoring it for so long. I wasn't ready. I never really thought about it. I was and still am too selfish. I blame people. I blame friends. I blame family. I blame society. I blame...no one. This is all me. Maybe its a trend of things that has cut the wire to my snooze button. My "work spouse" (Troy) adopted a baby last spring and she is absolutely precious. My friend Stacy, that I hang out with a lot, has two completely adorable little girls. My SIL has three hilarious and precious little boys. I recently joined Facebook and have reconnected with a ton of old friends from college and high school...they all have kids (for the majority). I'm surrounded.
After a few days of this screeching in my body, I finally brought it up to Ryan. We talked for a long time about what we wanted. When is the right time? What if it doesn't work out? What if we can't? What if something goes wrong? What if everything works out perfectly? Are we ready financially? Are we ready emotionally? These are all things we don't know...still. All we do know is that nothing will happen right away. We just bought a house and are settling in. Basketball is kicking up. We are just going to roll with it and when we feel ready...we will just see. No pressure. No expectation. Just live our life together and see. It is something that we want and we know it won't be easy. Only time will tell.
I can't really tell you when it happened, but it just...happened. I woke up one morning and hit the snooze button on my alarm clock; only, I could still hear it. That annoying, computerized, nails-on-a-chalkboard, high pitched ringing. But this was different...it's not that I could just hear it, but I could feel it. I realized quickly that this wasn't my same alarm. "What the...?"
Holy crap. I thought maybe I had dodged it like a super stealthy dodgeball player- Vince Vaughn eat your heart out. Who am I kidding?! I always sucked at dodgeball!! I should have known! Maybe I was complacent in hitting the snooze button for so long that I missed it this time? Maybe my snooze button is on the fritz and it'll reset on its own? Maybe not. Never the less, here it is. My biological clock....yelling at me for ignoring it for so long. I wasn't ready. I never really thought about it. I was and still am too selfish. I blame people. I blame friends. I blame family. I blame society. I blame...no one. This is all me. Maybe its a trend of things that has cut the wire to my snooze button. My "work spouse" (Troy) adopted a baby last spring and she is absolutely precious. My friend Stacy, that I hang out with a lot, has two completely adorable little girls. My SIL has three hilarious and precious little boys. I recently joined Facebook and have reconnected with a ton of old friends from college and high school...they all have kids (for the majority). I'm surrounded.
After a few days of this screeching in my body, I finally brought it up to Ryan. We talked for a long time about what we wanted. When is the right time? What if it doesn't work out? What if we can't? What if something goes wrong? What if everything works out perfectly? Are we ready financially? Are we ready emotionally? These are all things we don't know...still. All we do know is that nothing will happen right away. We just bought a house and are settling in. Basketball is kicking up. We are just going to roll with it and when we feel ready...we will just see. No pressure. No expectation. Just live our life together and see. It is something that we want and we know it won't be easy. Only time will tell.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Moving Stinks!!
You can call me an adult... officially, officially. I am married, I am 30, and I am now a homeowner. (Yes brother, I know what escrow means.)
The saga of closing day was intense and I will explain it the best way I can at a later time. I have a full day of work to catch up. Just know this: moving stinks and I don't want to do it anymore. (Insert temper tantrum here...a very adult temper tantrum).
The saga of closing day was intense and I will explain it the best way I can at a later time. I have a full day of work to catch up. Just know this: moving stinks and I don't want to do it anymore. (Insert temper tantrum here...a very adult temper tantrum).
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Tetherball Spider (Part 2)
Or so I thought.
The other night, I was sitting on the couch taking a break from...well, everything (packing, cleaning, work, etc). Rocky was staring at me and began to whine and growl. I asked him in my best excited voice, "You wanna go outside?!" His ears perked up and I took that as a yes. My whole day had been just shy of horrendous, so I should have known not to step foot back outside.
I took Rocky to the back door, flicked on the overhead light outside (not a bug light, I might add), slid on a pair of Ryan's shoes (so I wouldn't have to mess with laces) and opened the sliding door. It had been unseasonably cool lately so the bug factor was relatively low, and that night was no different. I walked outside with Rocky in tow and clipped him to the yard leash that is staked out in the middle of the backyard. Rocky immediately began running in circles as fast as possible for a few laps and then proceeded to relieve himself. Good dog.
I unclipped Rocky and he took off at a sprint into the house. The floor inside the back door is linoleum and everytime Rocky sprints inside he slides a good 5 feet into the opposite wall. Tonight was no different. THUNK!
I was walking back to the door, thinking how amazing it is that Rocky doesn't seem to remember running into the house results in the same outcome everytime. As I am thinking this I approached the back door not paying attention. I started to step through when I see it. There, hanging in front of me is a brown spider....twelve eyes, drool, the whole deal. Now, I am about 1 inch from this creature and I feel my eyes widen as I tried to stop my body from moving through the door. Out of pure reaction I immediately began to contort into a limbo type move, trying to avoid the eight legged assassin. My mind is screaming at me, "OH MY GOD! IT FOUND ME!!!" and my mouth is pressed closed so it doesn't try to go all kamikaze down my throat.
Being a person of habit, that fight-or-flight mechanism once again kicked in and my hand instinctually flew up and batted the spider away. This time it flew to the side, hit the doorframe and came back at me like a bullet. Now, I'm not super limber, so this limbo/Matrix move that I initially made is not something my body is able to sustain for prolonged periods of time. The amount of time that has passed was probably half of a second, but -since Albert Einstein said that time was relative- to me it felt like 30 minutes. My legs decided to straighten, my back decided to cramp, and apparently my head decided to weigh about a million pounds. Thus, I ended up flat on my back half in and half out of the back door.
So here I am lying on my back and my eyes have not left the stalking spider swinging wildly in the door. Because it's mission to scare the living shit out of me was fulfilled, it crawled back up to the top of the door and disappeared. I couldn't believe it...it found me. 7 years later...it found me.
The other night, I was sitting on the couch taking a break from...well, everything (packing, cleaning, work, etc). Rocky was staring at me and began to whine and growl. I asked him in my best excited voice, "You wanna go outside?!" His ears perked up and I took that as a yes. My whole day had been just shy of horrendous, so I should have known not to step foot back outside.
I took Rocky to the back door, flicked on the overhead light outside (not a bug light, I might add), slid on a pair of Ryan's shoes (so I wouldn't have to mess with laces) and opened the sliding door. It had been unseasonably cool lately so the bug factor was relatively low, and that night was no different. I walked outside with Rocky in tow and clipped him to the yard leash that is staked out in the middle of the backyard. Rocky immediately began running in circles as fast as possible for a few laps and then proceeded to relieve himself. Good dog.
I unclipped Rocky and he took off at a sprint into the house. The floor inside the back door is linoleum and everytime Rocky sprints inside he slides a good 5 feet into the opposite wall. Tonight was no different. THUNK!
I was walking back to the door, thinking how amazing it is that Rocky doesn't seem to remember running into the house results in the same outcome everytime. As I am thinking this I approached the back door not paying attention. I started to step through when I see it. There, hanging in front of me is a brown spider....twelve eyes, drool, the whole deal. Now, I am about 1 inch from this creature and I feel my eyes widen as I tried to stop my body from moving through the door. Out of pure reaction I immediately began to contort into a limbo type move, trying to avoid the eight legged assassin. My mind is screaming at me, "OH MY GOD! IT FOUND ME!!!" and my mouth is pressed closed so it doesn't try to go all kamikaze down my throat.
Being a person of habit, that fight-or-flight mechanism once again kicked in and my hand instinctually flew up and batted the spider away. This time it flew to the side, hit the doorframe and came back at me like a bullet. Now, I'm not super limber, so this limbo/Matrix move that I initially made is not something my body is able to sustain for prolonged periods of time. The amount of time that has passed was probably half of a second, but -since Albert Einstein said that time was relative- to me it felt like 30 minutes. My legs decided to straighten, my back decided to cramp, and apparently my head decided to weigh about a million pounds. Thus, I ended up flat on my back half in and half out of the back door.
So here I am lying on my back and my eyes have not left the stalking spider swinging wildly in the door. Because it's mission to scare the living shit out of me was fulfilled, it crawled back up to the top of the door and disappeared. I couldn't believe it...it found me. 7 years later...it found me.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Pissin' off Pulte
Ryan and I went to the house on Saturday to meet a guy about a fence in our new backyard. Our lot is a corner lot with a common area right behind it that no house will be built on. Score! You know how subdivisions are these days. They put up houses so fast and soooo close together. Your neighbor doesn't need to come over to borrow sugar, just stick your hand out a side window and you're in our house rooting through our pantry! Okay, okay, it's not that bad. Anyway, the fence guy was psyched about our lot because we are right next to the amenities center and there will be a lot of people passing our house. So, he is giving us a great deal with better wood than what we are paying for. Sweet.
However, the air conditioning unit is settling in the ground due to the foundation settling, so it's tilted about 40 degrees. And our kitchen sink sprung a leak so they had to rip up the hardwood floor and are drying everything out and replacing the hardwood. I didn't think much of it because hey, shit happens and it's getting all fixed this week. Ryan did think much of it. He fired off an email about it because the air conditioner wasn't mentioned to us on our weekly updates that we get, and he was concerned about the wood under our hard wood later on down the road. They are legitimate concerns and Ryan isn't one to really hold back on how he feels. I'm glad he is that way cuz I don't do confrontation so well (unless it is work related). So the construction manager fired one back. Nothing mean but both emails were to the point. But for me, I read into everything. So now I think the construction manager hates us and telling people we are "those people." He's probably not (WE'RE NOT THOSE PEOPLE I SWEAR!). Or he could not do as good of a job as normal or damage our house in some way. He won't though. These are just my irrational fears.
I just know he's gonna leave us a floater when we move in.
However, the air conditioning unit is settling in the ground due to the foundation settling, so it's tilted about 40 degrees. And our kitchen sink sprung a leak so they had to rip up the hardwood floor and are drying everything out and replacing the hardwood. I didn't think much of it because hey, shit happens and it's getting all fixed this week. Ryan did think much of it. He fired off an email about it because the air conditioner wasn't mentioned to us on our weekly updates that we get, and he was concerned about the wood under our hard wood later on down the road. They are legitimate concerns and Ryan isn't one to really hold back on how he feels. I'm glad he is that way cuz I don't do confrontation so well (unless it is work related). So the construction manager fired one back. Nothing mean but both emails were to the point. But for me, I read into everything. So now I think the construction manager hates us and telling people we are "those people." He's probably not (WE'RE NOT THOSE PEOPLE I SWEAR!). Or he could not do as good of a job as normal or damage our house in some way. He won't though. These are just my irrational fears.
I just know he's gonna leave us a floater when we move in.
Friday, August 28, 2009
The Tetherball Spider (part 1)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
I graduated college. And like any other college graduate moved back into the house I grew up in, on Kent Drive, before leaving in a matter of months for grad school. My brother had recently left the house to move in with his future wife, so it was just me.
You know the expression: some things never change? Well, ever since I can remember we have always had a yellow bug light on the front porch that is advertised to "keep bugs away at night." LIES!!!! Every night that that light was on, I would walk up the porch steps and get smacked in the head and face by moths, mosquitos and other various bugs that I couldn't identify. So of course, where there are bugs usually a spider or two is not that far behind. Usually the spiders would create their webs the side of the front door in various spots. This was not something unusual to me but I would pretend like they weren't there, because I am scared of spiders. For the two seconds it would take for me to unlock and force our slightly warped wooden door open, I would keep my mind occupied with other thoughts while I started to hyperventilate at the thought of the viscious, drooling spiders with twelve eyes that I would imagine calling my name trying to lure me into their web so they could plant their egg sacks in my hair and suck my blood!!! (I have a pretty active imagination.) But usually I would get into the house without egg sacks in my hair and with just as much blood as I had two seconds before. Another close call.
Spiders and I have a unspoken agreement (I think anyway). If they are outside the house...I leave them alone. They eat up mosquitoes and other bugs so...have at it! However, if one gets inside my house...I consider that a suicide march. First, I gasp. Second, I shudder and give the obligatory "Eeeeew. Oh my God!" Third, I curl my toes (I dont know why) and run to find the biggest shoe available. Fourth, I muster up my courage and slam the shoe down on it to make it's death as quick and painless as possible. Fifth, I do the "Oh-my-Lord-that-is-so-gross" dance/convulsion, usually in a small circle.
This one night, I was leaving the house in the evening (bug light on) and I open the front door to go when I realize I need something from the table by the door. I turn around to get it, then turn to go out the door and see a big brown spider hanging down from the middle of the door jam, about the size of a silver dollar. No lie. It's just hanging there...staring at me. So of course, I slide around it out the door, praying it won't get me. As I slide around it, it crawls back up to the top of the door frame. I slam the door, lock it in a crouched position watching for it and run away.
This happens just about every night for the next three weeks. I would open the door and walk out right when this crazy spider would drop down and almost hit me in the face! You would have to have cat like reflexes to duck at the appropriate time! It's was like it was waiting for you to walk through, just to scare the crap out of you!!
One night, I wasn't thinking and opened the door to leave when here comes the kamikaze spider. It scared me (of course) and my hand flew up and I batted it away from me. The spider swung out and for a second I thought I was safe...until the laws of motion for a pendulum became clear in my brain. The spider started to swing back to me. "Crap," I thought. Luckily, addrenaline from the scare was still in me and I ducked and sat down in the doorway. The spider swung back and forth for about a minute. When it slowed enough, it crawled back up and disappeared. I never saw it again....
I graduated college. And like any other college graduate moved back into the house I grew up in, on Kent Drive, before leaving in a matter of months for grad school. My brother had recently left the house to move in with his future wife, so it was just me.
You know the expression: some things never change? Well, ever since I can remember we have always had a yellow bug light on the front porch that is advertised to "keep bugs away at night." LIES!!!! Every night that that light was on, I would walk up the porch steps and get smacked in the head and face by moths, mosquitos and other various bugs that I couldn't identify. So of course, where there are bugs usually a spider or two is not that far behind. Usually the spiders would create their webs the side of the front door in various spots. This was not something unusual to me but I would pretend like they weren't there, because I am scared of spiders. For the two seconds it would take for me to unlock and force our slightly warped wooden door open, I would keep my mind occupied with other thoughts while I started to hyperventilate at the thought of the viscious, drooling spiders with twelve eyes that I would imagine calling my name trying to lure me into their web so they could plant their egg sacks in my hair and suck my blood!!! (I have a pretty active imagination.) But usually I would get into the house without egg sacks in my hair and with just as much blood as I had two seconds before. Another close call.
Spiders and I have a unspoken agreement (I think anyway). If they are outside the house...I leave them alone. They eat up mosquitoes and other bugs so...have at it! However, if one gets inside my house...I consider that a suicide march. First, I gasp. Second, I shudder and give the obligatory "Eeeeew. Oh my God!" Third, I curl my toes (I dont know why) and run to find the biggest shoe available. Fourth, I muster up my courage and slam the shoe down on it to make it's death as quick and painless as possible. Fifth, I do the "Oh-my-Lord-that-is-so-gross" dance/convulsion, usually in a small circle.
This one night, I was leaving the house in the evening (bug light on) and I open the front door to go when I realize I need something from the table by the door. I turn around to get it, then turn to go out the door and see a big brown spider hanging down from the middle of the door jam, about the size of a silver dollar. No lie. It's just hanging there...staring at me. So of course, I slide around it out the door, praying it won't get me. As I slide around it, it crawls back up to the top of the door frame. I slam the door, lock it in a crouched position watching for it and run away.
This happens just about every night for the next three weeks. I would open the door and walk out right when this crazy spider would drop down and almost hit me in the face! You would have to have cat like reflexes to duck at the appropriate time! It's was like it was waiting for you to walk through, just to scare the crap out of you!!
One night, I wasn't thinking and opened the door to leave when here comes the kamikaze spider. It scared me (of course) and my hand flew up and I batted it away from me. The spider swung out and for a second I thought I was safe...until the laws of motion for a pendulum became clear in my brain. The spider started to swing back to me. "Crap," I thought. Luckily, addrenaline from the scare was still in me and I ducked and sat down in the doorway. The spider swung back and forth for about a minute. When it slowed enough, it crawled back up and disappeared. I never saw it again....
The House!
Well, the house is almost done! They are just working on some odds and ends but all in all...it is finished! I can't believe it. Now that is really a house- no, OUR house- I'm just flabbergasted. Ryan, God bless him, has taken the reigns and is making sure everything is in order for our closing. He is on the phone with our loan counselor and mortgage broker constantly, in between calls from coaches and athletes. He said his main goal was to make sure I wouldn't get stressed out about all of it. He knows me so well.
I can feel the stress bubbling in my stomach and I know what it is. Fear. Irrational fear for the most part. I mean this is scary for me and exciting all in one. I love the house! I hate the amount of money involved! Not that we can't handle it by any means. We will be fine, but geez! Knowing that all this money we saved up for so long is gone in one afternoon (Sept. 8th) just makes me nauseated. Then I start to wonder about "what happens if...?" What happens if for some reason one or both of us lose our jobs, etc. But the return is what I focus on. I can picture Ryan, Rocky, Dammit, and I all in this house....maybe a few more additions down the road (wink, wink). I can see us living our lives here for a very long time. So I know it will be a really good thing.
If I don't go crazy first.
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